I used to HATE confrontation. I would avoid a person completely, just to stay away from an argument. I’d let things slide, that many other people would flip tables over. I had no voice. I didn’t know the power that was within me. I lived in fear. Guess what? That led me to highly Narcissistic and emotionally abusive relationships. It wasn’t until I was single with a 2 year old and a newborn and having to move back in with my parents that I knew I had to change.
I started by learning to say no. If I didn’t want to do something, I didn’t do it. If I didn’t want to go to a certain place, I declined the invite. I began to put my wants first, and it felt good.
Next, I started to address the people in my life who were taking advantage of me. No, you cannot cheat on me and come back home like nothing happened. No, I will not allow you to call me insecure while I sit back and watch you admire other women. No, I will not pay for this date. No, you cannot be on my cell phone plan and call other women. If you leave, don’t come back.
Addressing those people left me lonely, but I quickly learned that you’re only lonely if you don’t enjoy your own company. I began to date myself. I took myself out to eat and to the movies. I went to concerts by myself and made friends while I was there. I moved to another state with my kids and started working at a company that most people only dream of working for.
I have truly made it to a place in my life where having company is optional, not a necessity. I had to break the chains of insecurity, fear, and doubt. I had to learn that I am deserving of love. I had to learn that my feelings matter.
Over the past 5 years, I’ve shed enough tears to float Noah’s Ark, but guess what??? I’m back and I’m better. There’s no better feeling than breaking the cycle of abuse! You can and will get there in your own time. 💕