After writing a quite lengthy blog post late last night, I woke up to a post on Facebook that has given me the clarity and peace that I have been looking for. In her post, she was asking the question “Why won’t he tell me where I stand with him? I deserve to know what I am to him.”
I know you probably cringed when you read that. Matter of fact, I’m sure you did, because I did too. As embarrassing as it is to admit, I used to be that girl. I hung on to every word and looked for clues that it was true love, even though it couldn’t be any further from love.
You see, we have been trained to believe that love hurts. I’m telling you now, THAT IS A LIE! One-sided love hurts. When you love someone more than you love yourself, that hurts. When you give every ounce of your being to someone and they still choose to walk away, that hurts.
Living in a constant state of anxiety, fear, and uncertainty IS NOT LOVE! You have to be strong enough to choose yourself. For some people, that can be a struggle, because some say that it’s “selfish” to love yourself more than anyone else. I don’t know where these jacked up theories came from.
My advice to the young lady on Facebook was simple: “If you don’t know where you stand with him, stand somewhere else.”
If you are in a situation where you are emotionally depleted, depressed, insecure, and just feeling like crap because the person you love doesn’t love you, I have some advice for you: CHOOSE YOURSELF. If no one else in this world chooses you, choose yourself.
It has taken me 5 years to come to this revelation. Self-love is the best love. You cannot pour anything from an empty cup. When you don’t truly love yourself, you love others out of fear. Take care of YOU. Make time to do nice things for yourself. There is nothing wrong with being selfish when it comes to your well-being.
More self-love, hun. 💕